Top Five Things Wrong With Twilight

It was 2006.  I found myself book-less. I wasn’t in the mood for anything I had and so I headed off to Barnes and Nobel to hunt for a new book.  I wandered up and down the aisles, caressing spines of books that I have read and examining ones that have piqued my interest. I wasn’t finding anything. I went up to the customer service desk and asked for help. The salesclerk behind the desk asked me what I liked to read. I told her I was up for most anything. She listed a few books–but I had already read them. She then asked me, “What are your thoughts on Young Adult books?” I told her I had no opinion as I haven’t perused that section in ages.

We walked over to the area, and displayed right in front was a book with two hands cradling an apple. She picked it up and said, “It’s about a girl who falls in love with a vampire.  It’s like a junior high version of Dracula.” I read the back cover and said, “What the hell. It’s only a gift card I’m using.”

So I go home, open the book and I’m hooked.  The writing was horrible, but the story telling was fantastic. I finished the book that night and I found myself back at Barnes and Nobel the next day purchasing the sequel. That is how I was introduced to Stephenie Meyer and The Twilight Saga.

I was excited when I found out they were going to make the book series into movies.  I closely followed who they were going to cast as Edward and Bella.  I was okay with Robert Pattinson as Cedric, but could he be Edward? And Kristen Stewart as Bella?

I dragged my husband and daughter to the movies when Twilight came out.  (incidentally, while we were in line, that was the first time I had ever seen an E-reader.  Some lady in front of us was reading Twilight on hers.)

We got our seats, the lights dimmed and the movie began.

I left the theater after the movie, shaking my head in disappointment. Maybe because they had such a small budget, they couldn’t correctly transfer the book to movie.

I did see all of the Twilight movies, I even own them.  I have taken the fairy to Forks, three times.  I enjoy the story, but I will forever be disappointed with the movies.

So here in no particular order are the top five things wrong with Twilight, the movie.

Bella

Bella-Swan-harry-potter-vs-twilight-9497566-379-450

We are introduced to Bella first thing as the books are written from her perspective.  We find out that Bella is 5’4”, with brown hair and eyes and she is wispy and pale.  She has a dry sense of humor and low self esteem. She is loyal to her friends and is an excellent student.

I think they did not cast Bella right.  Kristen Stewart had the pale and wispy going for her, but that was it.  I imagined someone like Emma Stone playing her.  Someone who had a good sense of timing with jokes and was very pretty. The writers made Bella act as if she didn’t have a thought in her head and that her friends were and inconvenience.

Angela

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Angela is one of Bella’s closest human friends.  She is quiet and observant and has a huge crush on Ben. She is one of those girls who can make anyone feel comfortable.

In the movie they have her be loud and rambunctious.  Ben is never mentioned and Bella and Angela never form a friendship in the movies.

Carlisle

Carlisle_cullen

Carlisle was about 23 or 24 when he was turned. He is very compassionate and gorgeous with blonde hair and a small swimmers frame.

Peter Facinelli hair dye job was the worse thing about him.  He is okay to look at, but I think Bradly Cooper or Ralph Fiennes would have made it more convincing.

Jasper

Jasper-Twilight-jasper-hale-34040185-500-336

Jasper is one of my favorite characters.  He is the newest member and convert to the vegetarian diet.  He has the ability to control moods. He is also described as tall and blonde–pretending to be Rosalie’s twin.

Jackson Rathbone who plays Jasper looks like he is constipated throughout the movie.  He is supposed to be from Texas, so an accent and a few ma’ams would have helped.  He also cares for Bella, because Alice cares.  He always acts like Bella smells when she is around in the movies.

Edward

Edward_Cullen

Edward was turned in 1918 when he was 17.  He is described as toned body, reddish brown hair, tall and very pale.  He is a tad controlling in the books, but he eased up once he and Bella are equals. (spoiler alert)

Robert Pattinson was an okay fit. But I imagined Edward to look like a young John Cusack.  But that may be a generation thing.

The scene where Bella and him first meet and he smells her for the first time makes me laugh because he acts like Bella rolled in shit. I imagined that scene more like he was restraining himself. He doesn’t laugh as much in the movie as he does in the book and his relationship with his family feels forced; almost as if he didn’t get along with his costars.

One thing they got right

Charlie

Twilight_Charlie2

Out of the whole series, Charlie was the best book to movie adaptation

 

 

Making a movie out of books has to be difficult. There is so much in a book that cannot be transcribed to film.  I’m pretty sure the budget issues were a factor in why some things weren’t done.  What are your thoughts on the book to movie transition?

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5 thoughts on “Top Five Things Wrong With Twilight

  1. I actually laughed out loud as I read this. I completely agree with all of your observations. They are soooo true and hilarious! I’m curious…are you a 50 Shades lover as well? I loved the Twilight book series but not the movies. I fell asleep in the second one and never bothered to watch the other ones. 50 Shades however…umm…no. I’ve tried reading it on three separate occasions but simply could not get through it like a five day old baguette. It was impossible to chew.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I broke down and read 50 about a year ago. I went into it with an open mind, and didn’t think it was that bad. I have re-read it of course, but I skip the sex scenes. They were just ridiculous. I also don’t read the last book, I didn’t like it. If you omit the sex scenes, it’s just Twilight with different names. Grey is better, I wish she would finish the series from his point of view.

      Have you read the version of Twilight where it is gender swapped? Have you read the few chapters of Midnight Sun?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oooh, I like how you think! I’d definitely be more inclined to read the book if it were from Grey’s point of view. No, I haven’t read the gender-swapped Twilight. Was it any good? Sounds interesting. Nah, haven’t read Midnight Sun? Should I bother? Is it worth it?

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      • The gender-swapped Twilight is quick and easy. Beau (instead of Bella) is a introvert and Edythe (Edward) is more outgoing and assertive in their relationship. The change happens a lot sooner. When Joss (James) attacks Beau, Edythe allows him to transform and they live happily ever after by faking Beau’s death and leaving the area.

        Midnight Sun only available on Stephenie Meyers website, and only 12 chapters. She has no desire to finish it, which is a bummer since it is really good. It makes Edward seem less controlling since you see his point of view. The same with Grey.

        Liked by 1 person

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