My Top Five Brothers

I was born and raised in Kalispell, Montana.  I grew up with four older and one younger brother.  I think we might have all been in the same house for maybe a month.  My four oldest brothers were born right after each other, then there is an almost ten year am and then I was born then five years later, my little brother was born. I have no sister.  You may think since I was the only girl I was spoiled, but I wasn’t.  My little brother had that honor.  Since I have five brothers, they get their own top five list. Here they are from oldest to youngest.


My brother Rob was born in 1964.  I have very few memories of him, but that is because he was grown when I was born.  I have memories of him taking me and my brother Pat to see “E.T.” in the theater.  I also remember watching “Jaws” with him and having nightmares afterwards. He took my brother Pat and I to see “Ghostbusters” as well.  I don’t remember my little brother going, but he may have. He was old enough.

He always dressed odd. Like he was stuck in the 1970’s.  He eve wore horn rimed glasses and had a goofy haircut. He enlisted in the Army Reserves so I didn’t see him a lot.  I remember phone calls on a few birthdays and promises to take me to Disney Land.

I remember one Christmas he was home, he must have been 22 or 23. He had the chicken pox; all over, even in his stomach and lining his esophagus.  We weren’t allowed to bother him because he was so miserable.

There is another memory of Rob renting a video camera and he filmed some of my family-my mom making dinner, my dad drinking, my little brother playing and me dancing in front of a mirror.

He got married when I was a sophomore in high school.  We drove down to Utah and I got very sick. We had a station wagon where you could sit in the back facing back. I got sick from the carbon monoxide coming from the exhaust. That was the third to last time I saw him.  He didn’t stay married to her long and they had one daughter.

The second to last time I saw him was when he brought his wife and daughter up to Montana to visit us.  His wife wasn’t that bright and she fell for all kinds of pranks.  Especially the one about how “Falling Rock” was an Indian who was looking  for his lost bride when he died and when we see the signs “Watch for Falling Rock” we have to keep an eye out for his ghost. She also fell for the one where if you are menstruating, the bears will attack you so women have to stay indoors that week each month.

The final time I saw Rob was at my dad’s funeral in 2004.  He sat a part from us, him not fitting in very well.

The last time I spoke to him was a few weeks before my mom passed in 2014.  He called to say goodbye to her and told me that he won’t be coming to the funeral.


Ray was born in 1965.  I have very few memories of him as well, because he was in the Marines while I was growing up.  He was very good at either calling me on my birthday, or sending me a birthday card.

He always thought he was adopted because he was blond hair and blue eyed, then I came along.  I had blond hair and brown eyes.

I was the flower girl in his first marriage.  She was an okay lady, but we never really bonded.  They had two kids, one boy and one girl. I like his second wife, she’s feisty.  They have one girl together.

Ray and I didn’t really bond until he quit drinking.  I think he finally decided to settle down and make something of himself.  He and his wife currently live in Montana and he drives trucks.  We chat once in awhile on the phone, but mainly it’s stuff on Facebook. We see each other about once every-other-month. He likes to pick on my husband, because that’s what big brothers do. He and my daughter have a healthy uncle/niece relationship.


Rick was born in 1967. He was in and out of my life so much.  He was in and out of jail or kicked out of the house or traveling.  His first wife gave birth to my first niece. I would spend time with them learning how to ride horses or babysitting the three girls.  His second wife was closer to my age than his.  She was fun to hang out with, but I’m not sure if they had a healthy relationship.  They had a boy together.  Rick married his first wife again around the same time I got married. That third marriage didn’t last long and she committed suicide about a year after they got divorced again. His fourth wife is as stubborn as he is.  They have two children together.  I haven’t seen him since my mom passed and he will probably outlive us all.


Pat was born in 1969.  I idolized him.  He was my big brother.  I watched him get ready for prom, get ready for dates, hang out with his friends.  He did things big brothers do. He taught me how to drive a manual and an automatic, showed up to my softball games, got me my first job, helped me out when I left home.  I wanted him to give me away when I got married, but my dad showed up. (He wasn’t supposed to, he was drunk) Pat was married once and they had two boys and a girl. I tried to keep in touch with Pat, but we lead two different lifestyles.  He spent and I saved.  He accused me of rubbing my money in his face.  The last time we spoke was my mom’s funeral.


Tom (Tommy to me) was born in 1983.  I wanted a little sister, but I got another brother. We had a rocky relationship.  He would torment me so much.  He would chase me around the house with knives and threaten to kill me in my sleep.  My parents didn’t believe me. Once I moved out, things got a bit more civil between us.  We don’t really have much in common.  He and his wife have three children.  The last time I saw him was at my nieces 21st birthday (The night of my moms funeral).

Honorable Mention:

My husband. 🙂  He is not a brother, but my mom did say that he was her favorite son.


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